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Finding My Voice After Religion
As I continue my journey deconstructing, I have also been attending therapy to help me navigate such a large transition. For some, it may not be necessary, but in my case, I began to realize there were many side effects to the religious practices I used to regularly adopt.
When it comes to decision making, It is important (to me) that I have clarity and trust in myself that I am making the best decision with all of the information I have at that time.
However, in Christianity, what I found was often a discouragement to listen to my inner guidance in addition to God’s voice. In my experience in the church, there was often teachings of “sometimes you think it’s God talking to you, and it’s not” or “God knows more than you, so consult Him for everything”. While I understood the intention, I did not come to find the harmful effects until I left the church.
I found myself questioning everything. I struggled to make decisions, failed to trust my gut, and basically was living a paralyzed life due to the amount of doubt I had surrounding my decision making skills. The idea, for me, was that if I made a bad/wrong decision, God was going to punish me. As I have begun to heal, this is a life I acknowledged I want no parts of any longer. It was miserable always second guessing myself.
